The dog had been barking for a good two minutes when I decided this wasn’t a false alarm and I should see what might be happening downstairs at 2:30 a.m.
By the time i reached the bottom of the stairs, I realized Hubby had had the same thought and had already investigated what was going on. In fact, he was on the phone with 911, telling them there was a highly intoxicated man on our front lawn covered in blood.
Never a dull moment here in Suburbia Boondocks apparently.
I looked out the window to see a dark figure of a man trying to get up on a bicycle and pedaling into the darkness. He seemed to be weaving a bit, but I had no idea why.
Hubby said the man had reeked of alcohol and had come toward Hubby out of the darkness, his face dripping blood. Hubby tried to convince him to sit down so he could call 911 but all the man would say was, “I don’t want an ambulance. I just want my hat and my bike, man.”
There wasn’t a hat or a bike to be seen – at least at first and Hubby assumed the man was merely speaking through the booze. When the police officer pulled up a few moments later we realized why the man had been bleeding and why his hat was missing.
The headlights from the officer’s SUV revealed our completely demolished rear window, the glass shattered all over the inside of the back of the car, including our son’s car seat and – lo and behold – the man’s ball cap and sunglasses.
Later investigation would not yield the intoxicated and bleeding man, as we might have hoped, but instead three of his teeth and a cell phone clip, as well as his blood on our car.
The incident was quite the gathering place for a bit as the police officer and then a local ambulance crew pulled up to check out the scene, shake their head and say “How did he get up enough speed to go through that window?’”
It is something we are still not sure of and can only guess that maybe an incident earlier in the day involving a 12 ton truck being driven by a family member that had rolled backed into the same car, had weakened the glass.
Needless to say, it wasn’t a good day for us, the car, or the guy who flew through the window.
As of today, two days later, police still haven’t found the drunk bicyclist and we’re trying to scrounge up $500 to pay our insurance deductible. We’re thinking if we do ever meet him we might elicit a little more blood from his veins and maybe a $500 retribution.
As for the man’s missing teeth, we’re fairly certain he’ll now fit in well with many of the other residents in our area. Especially the recovering meth addicts.
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