I stumbled out of the computer room feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. It had been a long night of my toddler refusing to sleep and I’d taken a few moments after he finally conked out (no, not drifted off…conked out) to check some of my favorite blogs. Sprite’s Keeper, HeatherPride, Potty Mummy, Sparks, Jen, Anna K.,My Life For the World to See, and my latest addictions PapaTV and the FarmBlog.
I found a piece of paper crumpled on my pillow and thought it was from Hubby. It wasn’t.
Dear Mother of Toddler:
Where have you been? I’ve missed you horribly. I’ve been lonely without you. We used to be so close. What happened?
I’ll tell you what happened. First you got fat, then you pushed a miniature human from your body. Then you found blogging. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. We’ve grown distant. You’ve drifted away. You don’t have time for me anymore.
We once cuddled under the covers together in the afternoon and snuggled close late into the morning. Now our meetings are brief, lacking intimacy and, dare I say it? Cold..
You’ve been spending a lot of time with that small creature, the one that screams and squeals and says “nnnno.” a lot, throwing in various variations of the word like “mmmmno,” and “uh-uh,” “nope,” and “nah.” He’s started to think he’s pretty darn funny. I don’t think it’s funny and lately I’ve noticed you’re not laughing either.
I see how you glance longingly at me. I know you still want me. I know you still need me.
Then why do you push me away, even when the creature sleeps? You sneak away from me to sit in front of a bright screen and read – what do you read? Those blogs? Those stories of other people’s lives? Why? When you could have me all to yourself?
I’ll be here for you. Whenever you decide you’ve had enough of the creature, of those blogs. I’ll always be here for you.
Love,
Your bedP.S. Desk says you’ve been using him as a substitute for me at your office. At least wipe the slobber off him when you wake up. Seriously, have some pride.
I know what you mean. My bed is my best friend and the poor guy (girl?) gets ignored daily. I think after reading this, I’ll try to spend more time with my bed.
Dear Bed,
I respect you, but please don’t defile the blogs. We make her happy even when the creature sends her to the ledge. We’ll keep her safe, no worries.
Regards,
Sprite’s Keeper
PS- If you don’t mind, could you possibly send me one of those cute counting sheep as seen in the Serta commercials? I figure, being a bed and all, you have connections, no?
Have some pride – ha ha!! That’s a good one. I could have used some pride in my training class earlier today when I kept catching myself nodding off. Well, if you and the bed need to catch up, don’t worry. Those blogs aren’t going anywhere!! We’ll still love you when you get back.
Awwww I got all warm and gushy when you mentioned I was one of your fav blogs. See this ~BIG GRIN~ right back atcha babes!
Go on give your bed a wee snuggle, it’ll make you and bed feel better.
Hugs
Kirst
I think my bed feels the same about me too. I love my bed, lumps and all. It’s so forgiving, so warm, so……
I like Sprite Keeper’s response (uh, not that I don’t like your original post). The blogs keep you sane — even though I know mine drives you insane.
or is that sans emoticon? Hmmmm….
Oh honey, I think your bed is saying what most of our beds are sayign except mine would tell me that it screams in pain when we actually do use it and there are more than the alotted number of people on it (We have actually crammed 5 people on the bed at the same time!)
Your bed has a point. Has it been e-mailing off-line with mine?
HAHAHAHAHA! That’s awesome. That pride comment at the end? Your bed is snarky. And funny.
For shame, woman!
Your bed is feelin’ neglected and mine just tells me every morning, “You know I love you, Babe, but for cryin’ out loud you’ve gotta get up!”
Very funny! I’m avoiding my bed at the moment and it’s very puzzled… I mean, I’m even in my pjs, and it’s 1:30am…
Very funny! I’m avoiding my bed at the moment and it’s very puzzled… I mean, I’m even in my pjs, and it’s 1:30am…
OK, I’m trying to comment here, really I am… twice and failure. Very funny post, it could be me writing!
That note could have been written by my bed.